life kinda turned to shit the past two weeks. Not that I’m super negative about what happened, it’s more how people treat me now. One of my bosses started screaming at me for the tiniest mistakes and cleary shows how much he dislikes me and how minor my job and status is. The others are friendly (some even more than before) but obviously finished that chapter with me. I still don’t know what I did wrong, but I have a suspicion beside of some mistakes I did. It’s pure officialism and I can’t do anything against it. All I can say is that my follower probably will be a temp worker as well and might face the same situation like me in two years, if nothing changes. Anyway, I still do my best and try to work as good as possible. It would be useless to start a mess. That’s not my style. Luckily my beloved colleagues are still at my side and treat me like they always did.
Beside that, there’s so much paperstuff to do. I need to withdraw and re-register things, keep all the costs in mind, need to organize shit... Germany is like hell, when it comes to paperwork. Everyone needs everything ten times. And worse! The forms look like they’re written in German, but the language is definetly something else. You need to do two hours of research to fill a form that could be done in 5 minutes. Oh man… I finished almost everything but I’m suspicious. Let’s wait until I get confirmations about everything aso. ^^
I visited my family this weekend (it was my stepfather’s birthday) and my mum was very sad that I‘ll leave the town. She supports me, of course but for her Frankfurt is far far away. For me it’s only 2 hours away and I already need 1 ½ hours (one way) to go to work every day, so no problem for me. I think she will get used to it and she still has my brother.
I try to stay positive, but there are more and more doubts about me and my future. Is finding a new job really that easy? My self-confidence says yes, my rational thinking tells me something different, even though I have really good references, make a friendly appeareance and have some experience. I sure hope they don’t want a sexy secretary. That’s something I cannot come up with. XD
Also, I think living with my sweety will be awesome, but even here I get doubts. Holy shit, brain. Leave me alone!
About art. I’m working on commissions and wanna finish them asap. The money I get is really helpful to feed all the vultures who are currently longing for my money. XD Moving is really expoensive, haha. Therefore I won’t upload a new Ampere page today, but hopefully can finish it for next week. I’m sorry, but there’s more important stuff right now. ^^